B6- Pill or Chord

Let's back it up from the title for apenas un segundo ( just a second). I had a great Christmas. One of my favorite gifts was the knife holder my dad sent for from Switzerland! It matches his, plus the new knife my parents got me. With all of my pocket knives, I'm thinking of starting a collection. I got a new headlamp to replace the old one I got with my Make- A- Wish gift, and a box of 45 6- packs of crackers. That's 270 peanut-butter crackers, folks. I got some much needed clothes, as well.

On to the title subject, though. B6: Vitamin or Guitar Chord? Turns out it is both. It was a few days before Christmas when we heard about it on the news. A simple vitamin stemming back seizures in a little girl since birth. Now she wasn't having the type of seizures I am having (in fact nobody seems to have the same problem I do. It's kinda' frustrating at times) But, she was having success against them by taking a simple vitamin called B6. She has been free of seizures for her entire life, I believe. So I thought that it couldn't hurt to give it a shot. I've been taking it since two or three days before Christmas, and I haven't had a seizure... yet. That usually spells trouble, but I'm used to feeling bad as well. This week I'm not. I've had my regular share of energy, and even feeling better, but that could be mental. We'll see how this all plays out. New medicine and dosages of same have to go at least two weeks without seizures (for me to feel comfortable with them) and this vitamin has been in my system for five or six days. It's a little pill, and not complicated to take (it's not a horse- pill)

You talk about your non-complicated guitar chords, B6 is easy to play, now that I've looked it up. There are many ways to play it. This is the way for beginners on the acoustic guitar. See the following:

In my dabbling around with my guitar, I'm sure I've come across this chord. The difference is now I know it's name. It's made up of all flats, I believe.

In summary, B6 is supposed to help seizures, and sounds pretty at the same time. So kids, remember, it is important to take those Garfield vitamins. Take it from one who knows.

White Christmas? / Gifts

This takes the cake. Now after taking the full force of a hurricane, we got a few hours worth of snow. Yes, you read right; snow. I've heard Houston was a little weird, but meteorologically? But I hear every time this city gets wacky weather in the summer, it gets wacky weather in the winter, aka: snow. It also seems it is staying colder longer and earlier this year. You know, this hurricane might have been a pain in the rear, but I think I can see some good in it, that is if you like cold weather. I'm the kind of guy that doesn't mind going out in a shirt and a pair of shorts on a day when the temp is in the 50's. I can't remember whether it was tonight or last night, that peace I felt with that cold air, and that full moon. I wonder if that was what it was like for the town of Bethlehem as they awaited the birth of Jesus, all those years ago.
My Venture crew's having their annual Christmas party tomorrow evening (take that, economy!) so I'm hyped about that, and our family are having our 8th annual giftathon that started about about a week ago. How you do it is by writing the names down of each of the family members, and putting the pieces of paper into a hat (in this case, my good Sooners cap) and drawing a name. This year, instead of guessing or trying to trick somebody into revealing what they wanted (my personal favorite) we all wrote lists of what we wanted and put them on the refridgerator door. With less than two weeks to go before Christmas, I have a hefty shopping list in front of me for the person I have. Many of you out there have lots of folks to buy for, but, slow it down, and remember, Jesus was born on Christmas day, and that He is the true reason for the season! The presents are nice, but they are just symbols of what God gave us. A gift far past the value of all gifts; His Son.

Good, Grief!

It's been a wild bunch of days around here! First, thanksgiving, then the immediate move into Christmas, something I can never understand. I have to agree with Squanto on the Peanuts tv special: "The Mayflower Voyagers" 'There are some customs I am still not aquainted with.' You'd think that would be a celebration worth a few days, but Christmas has to get closer every year. We're not even out of November yet, and people are running each other down in the stores. Literally! We've had three or four deaths on what has come to be known as "Black Friday." You know, you have to feel for people like that that have to get the latest gadget, so much so that they trample other people in the stores. The good thing about this is that my dad brings home the latest Christmas cd's, and I can burn them to my computer. My favorites are the Trans- Siberian Orchestra, and the Manheim Steimroller.
My dad's birthday is today. I purchased some race tickets at the Texas Motor Speedway a few weeks ago, and gave them to him as a gift, belated of course. The race is in April. I don't mean to be tootin' my own horn, but it's the first time I've done anything like this.
We decorated the tree today. It hardly seems like a year has passed since we last did this. Well, thank goodness for the four- day Thanksgiving break. It more or less ushered in the start of Christmas which is now 25 days away.
In the middle of your hustle and bustle this Christmas '08, don't forget to stop and ponder the reason for the season:

Charlie Brown: (shouting in desperation) Isn't there anyone out there who can tell me what Christmas is all about?
Linus Van Pelt: Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you. Lights, please. [a spotlight shines on Linus]
Linus Van Pelt: "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the lord shone round about them, and they were so afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you this day is born in the City of Bethlehem, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men'". That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.- A Charlie Brown Christmas

Garfield: All right, you guys, just permit me one sentimental moment here. I have something to say: Christmas. It's not the giving, it's not the getting, it's the loving.- A Garfield Christmas

Swappin' Paint

Conservative In Exile

Oh, Well. It's not often I drag politics in here, but this is one of those times. DEMOCRATS BEWARE!!! If you can't tell, I am a McCain/ Palin supporter. So, what did I do election night when the Republicans lost, why, I had a Grand Mal seizure! It kind'a represented the whole evening. I've been following the conservative base websites pretty closely longer than Obama's been a senator- 143 days. I hope America's ready for this socialist puppet. Undoubtedly, there are many unseen "forces" pulling on Barry from all different directions, and they are using him as a front. Anyway this is just my opinion. Barry has promised to "spread the wealth around," Not gonna work. It has never worked. Socialism is a stone's thrown throw from Communisim. Apparently, the saying holds true, "You can fool some of the people some of the time..." Let's just see what these voters say 4 years from now. Truly, I don't think we'll get there. Call me a Gloomy Gus if you will, but Americans are gonna get tired of having their paycheck dipped into even further every 2 weeks just to give a lazy bum that can work a free ride. And this is all in the name of "Fairness." I thought America was what you made it. That's why you are free to work at whatever you wanted to. Well, that teaches me a lesson. We've sunk to a new high in low. We're failing upwards. If it we're not for God's mercy, and His common sense, nothing would be worth living for.
Caller: Barack Obama can't order a Happy Meal without having Axelrod or somebody else on his staff writing something for him.- The Rush Limbaugh Show

The Winds of Change

Change... That's all I ever hear! I've had to learn to adapt to changing situations just in time for the whole house to collapse on me. My younger brothers are growing up... fast. They've invested in some pretty old cars, but with some of my brothers' TLC, those old cars ('94- '95's) have become things of beauty. My middle sibling has just invested in some coolant for the A/C in his car, which, by the way, is the only vehicle to have such in two years. My dad finally got the Escort towed away. I'll miss it. I went on my first Boy Scout campout in it, and the majority thereafter. Oh, well, I'll just put the license plate up on my wall with all the others. My brothers are working jobs part- time, and doing school. Having little memory, I can't remember their schedules, so I often make the mistake of calling up the stairs, to somebody's who's not home. My memory re-call has shortened to a minute and a half, so often, I am redundant in asking questions, and I hate doing that to people. Personaly, my schoolwork has been ramped up, and I'm rising to the challenge, getting done this week with my assignments before noon. New too, is my CPAP Machine, which I've taken to like a fish in water. It's a machine that helps you sleep at night without snoring, and it turns out that that I have a few, little episodes during the night where I snore lightly, but I'm a border case. All I know is that I feel better, and that the pockets under my eyes, which I mistook were for my wallet and keys, are clearing up, and I'm not as tired as I used to be. Not all change is for the worse. A lesson I had to learn early in my childhood. I was afraid of everything, and now, at times, I feel like I could take on the world. Talk about a 180 degree swing on the compass. So the solution to changes, at least to me, who has a big problem with it, is to make a small adjustment in kind.
Jack Sparrow: That is the child of Bootstrap Bill Turner. His only child. Savvy?
Mr. Gibbs: Is he now? 'Leverage,' says you. 'I think I feel a change in the wind,' says I.
Pirates of the Carribean

Speaking In Tongues

To kill a Mockingbird... Lemme think about that. Nope, not gonna happen in this young man's world. I know that they are annoying, especially in the middle of the night, but they do have a curious gift. If you'll hang ten with me, I'll show you where I'm going with this. A few years back, my dad's former company, which was Finnish, by the way, had the company shrink walk in. He gathers the crew around him and asks "what sort of power animal they would want to be." My dad, an American, tried to answer with the most ridiculous critter that ever inhabited our fair orb. Most of the other employees found this excercise in futility, also. My answer to this question: a Mockingbird. See, the Mockingbird doesn't have a song, he just mimics the sound of other birds. So do I, only for people, and I whistle birdsong. In fact, I've trained my dog, Sara, to come to me when she hears the whistle of a Bobwhite. Back to people, though. I've memorized lines from movies, real life etc, So, that's how I "speak in tongues," as it were. Of course, the challenge is the accent. It also helps to collect quotes, and watch your targets often, to get the swing of the accent and speech. So, far, I've nailed G. W. Baily (MASH), and Rev. Jeremiah Wright. It's easy to do; just pick an actor or person in your voice range, and go for it. I also practice talking to myself, even without knowing it. Sadly, I'm my second-best friend. I'd wear out a best friend with all the talkng I've done over the countless years. But, if you dig deep, there is a me under all the quotes, lines, and accents that I do, But I do a who lot more singing, just like a Mockingbird.

The Hurricane Chronicles: Day Six

Written: 9/18/08 (6th in 6- part series) Typed: 9/26/08

Lights out... still. Rumor is that we'll have electricity by the weekend. We can only hope. Yeah Right! If you didn't notice, it's been almost a week since the storm. Last night, we had an unexpected surprise. In the middle of a blackout, we went out to dinner at a 50's style diner. We had never been there for the evening meal, but they even serve breakfast at night! Later that evening, my dad got a a battery and ran a fan a fan system in every bedroom. Meanwhile, today, we are going to a washateria, since it has been before the storm since we last did laundry. I just found out that my pooch has a mysterious limp in left foreleg. An Update: I've been seeing and hearing heavy trucks with arms going up and down our street, and an electric truck doing the same. My dad called the energy company, and he 's been to the Centerpoint website and now they've published a list of zipcodes they will fully restore by by Friday. Ours was on that list. I'm not holding my breath, by the way. Wrong- O! I helped my mom out at the laundromat for a total of three hours, and it was packed to the roof, plus it was extra noisy too. By the we were done, I had three seizures, and a complete loss of my mental faculties. I tell you what, it was a complete madhouse in there! Despite the fighting over washers, we had to play tag over dryers as well. Some folks were so rude as to take dry clothes out of the dryer in order to put theirs in!!! Can you say IMPOLITE? When we got home, after having a bite to eat, it was SO pleasant to do a double- take on who left the stove- top light on. (Sigh, I was really tired) And so this little series of stories has a happy ending save for the fact that Ike was the biggest hurricane to hit Galveston since the storm of 1900. Big storms. Lots more damage and destruction, but every little improvement is a ray of hope.

The Hurricane Chronicles: Day Five

Written: 9/17/08 (5th in a 6- part series) Typed: 9/25/08

Five days and we are just now getting the death toll via radio, 48, so far. That's two states worth, both Texas and Louisiana. It's still cool, but will become humid by the weekend. Oh, and we STILL don't have power. Most of Houston is still without power, even though we've got thousands of electricians around here. A new book arrived in the mail yesterday. It's in chronological order with the other ones I've received. Five down, one to go, hopefully in the mail today. I've finally come up with a title for the sub- blog I'm going to create. I'm praying that we get the electricity back on before the humidity comes this weekend. On a related note, it is very infuriating to have a direct view of the sports complex right across the street, and to have bright lights blinding you at night. A sports complex of all things!!! Meanwhile, right across the street from the park, is a neighborhood without power!!! Maybe I could deal with it better if the lights weren't so bright or something along those lines. Meanwhile, our neighbors (the ones who had borrowed the tarp) are busy (I assume) nailing down roof tiles back on their domicile. CORRECTION. My neighbor is literally, "repairing some fences," as it were.

Take A Hike Ike

The Hurricane Chronicles: Day Four

Written: 9/16/08 (4th in a 6- part series) Typed: 9/24/08

No electicity YET! Ah, well, the cool weather is a blessing. I was thinking about the hurricane blogs last night. Anyway, I have two new books in a series to keep me company, and don't think that it was a co-incindence that I got both books before the storm. The radio has kept us distracted from the situation at hand with the Rush Limbaugh and Mike Gallagher shows. My mom and I are big talk radio fans... Just washed a reluctant Beagle, and she was more unhappy about it than usual. Sara, our pooch, led me on a merry chase out in the yard and inside the house. She did not want the B-A-T-H!!! Came back from a mile- long walk to see if I could find the energy- guy I saw earlier. The trip was a no-go for the electricity- dude, and yes to the excercise. Heard a weird story about Galveston lions, tigers, cattle, and penguins. The former three are loose on the island, and the latter have been rescued from the 58 degree water from the Moody Gardens.

The Hurricane Chronicles: Day Three

Written 9/15/08 (3rd in a 6-part series) Typed: 9/23/08

I slept in my bed for the first time since the hurricane. It was and cool up there. When I woke up the cool breeze had encircled the house. Good thing we had practiced having no electricity last year for two weeks due to some snafu with the electric company. No electricity yet, although on a day like today, we usually would turn off the AC anyway. Talked to some of my friends via cell phone, one of which was an elderly fellow patient that was in therapy with me in Denton. I like to consider her my adopted grandma, since I have lost both of mine. The other was a family that resided in my neighborhood. They were fine, by the way.

The Hurricane Chronicles: Day Two

Written: 9-14-08 (2nd in a 6- part series) Typed: 9-21-08

Two days, after the hurricane, a Sunday, was a very different story. During the night, as we slept, our power went out again! Fact is, I would've slept right through if it hadn't been been for a thunderstorm which, somehow damaged the transistor that controls the power for a for a small portion of our neighborhood. Just my neighborhood. Terrific. Score one for the Energizer Bunny! So my family and I decided to get in the car and go look see how the surrounding cities had fared. It wasn't a pretty sight. There wasn't nary a building that didn't incur some sort of damage from framing to bricks, roof tiles, and some, complete destruction. Before we lost power last night, we saw Reliant Stadium with it's outer strips protecticting the roof, totally hanging in shreds. I've been praying for all those that 've been hurt, and who help in the recovery see the hand of God through this.

The Hurricane Chronicles: Day One

Written 9-13-08; (First in a six- part series) Typed: 9-19-08

Have you everheard of a "Crazy Ivan?" That's where a Russian sub makes a quick 180 degree turn to check it's baffles? Well, This is "Crazy Ike,"a strong Category 2 hurricane, that nearly was a Cat 3 by 1 mph of wind!. Actually, it filled up 3/4 of the Gulf of Mexico and had a track only a contortionist could follow. The storm just missed Houston (due to a last milisecond turn to the East.) Our neighbors to the SW of us (our house is at facing a crazy angle) lost a significant amount of roof tiles. Our rotting fence that borders the same neighbors and my family, partially blew down, and an unidentified chimney cap wound up in our yard as well.
Galveston's a mess, and a total wreck. I've explored those islands end to end more times in pursuit of ocean fishing spots. Our favs were the San Luis Pier, and Jamaica Beach. Good luck just trying to find the remnants of the former, and Jamaica Beach resembles a war zone. 10 hours before the storm, Galveston's 16 ft seawall was all underwater, and lapping up onto Seawall Rd. The city resembles an over- watered flower garden, especially at about 1 a.m. Sat, when the storm came on- shore. Most of Galveston is under an average of six feet of water, and the city resembled a flambe when 12 structures caught fire. T'was the height of infamy to be surrounded by water, only it was too deep for the high water EMS/ Fire to get to the situations. The said vehicles had to pull back from "home base" once the storm came on shore for flooding reasons. I hear that they are "trapped?" somewhere in a basement or the likes of one. You, the reader, know that I've been down here for just over 1 1/2 years, and this is my first hurricane, and thank God, it wasn't worse. I can't speak for the cities along the coast. In some cases, most people have lost it all, such as the guy in Galveston who lost his house to floodwaters, so he took off in his Corvette. Bad Idea. Not only did he lose the car, he lost his shoes. (Ouch! on the Corvette!!!)
Right now, over 3 million are without power, hoping to regain it again in the span of three to four days. As of two hours ago, we were helping our neighbors; collecting their roof tiles, and dad lent the biggest tarp he could find to them.
According to the governor, this is the biggest search and rescue operation in Texas history.
I took a walk with my brothers and dad, scoping out the neighborhood, and it was a sight better than most cities, although it was just cosmetic damage (leaves, shingles, the occasianional roof blown off or missing a whole lot of shingles.) If that was just light damage, I was afraid to see the NE side of the former storm and the utter desolation of the coast cities.
We just got power back at 8:50p. The family is very grateful to the Centerpoint people. Our first hurricane expierience was short, but telling, and we were prepared. The tv came back on withevening shots of Galveston. I was right unfortunately... Galveston and the entire Texas SE coast were 95% destroyed. Someone even brought their kayak to paddle down the six foot deep streets, and we about had a crash on the causeway, of speedboats, three deep by three high, and the piece de la recistance, a speedboat at a traffic light. "When in Galveston..." My family had it good this time- it was just a blackout, and we'd been in longer power outages than this. Case closed. That's when things go horribly, horribly wrong.

Memories

This is the seventh anniversary of 9/11. Although it was horrible, we have come a long ways in thwarting terrorisim. I feel for those families, firefighters, and policemen who gave their lives so other people might live. I applaud the actions of the folks aboard those planes who tried to regain control of those cockpits. There have not been any terrorist attacks since! This is due to the crackdown on terror by President Bush & Company. God Bless the USA!!! Long May She Live!!!

Double Trouble

With Hurricane Ike targeting my exact position, I want to relate to you some "frying pan" trouble before I fall into the fire. A few days ago, I suffered from some "double trouble." Asthma and seizures to be exact. Believe me, you do not want to try that combination. The seizures I get I have to suck in air. So, what air is there to breathe when you are in the middle of an asthma attack? That is officialy the worst way to go out. I took my asthma meds and Lorazipam for my seizures. The dirty little secret is that this is the medicine they give you when you get head surgery, and I take it on a regular basis. Anyhow, it was just a matter of time for this combo to go away- 3-4 hours at most. That is a long time for someone who can't breathe in H2O, and jerking all the way.

A Primer For Ocean Fising

Ocean Fishing. Gotta love it, or lump it. You've got to be fanatical to brave mosquitos the size of baseballs, and when I say that they swarm, they swarm. They're not your average mosquitos. Their bites last four or five days. I got up at 3:15 a.m and on the way to the ocean at 4:30. It takes about 1 1/2- 2 hours to get to the ocean from my place, but as my dad and younger brother would have it, we'd have to get their by dawn- fish feeding frenzy time. Indeed, I fed the fish, instead of the other way around. I'm not known for my fishing, freshwater, or ocean. When it comes to lowering the worm or shrimp, I'm known as a Vegetarian: An old Indian word for bad fisherman. I was blessed enough to pull up four throwbacks (fish that you throw back due to size requirements and the like.) Now I know almost every freshwater specieces of fish in Texas, but I'm drawing a blank on the Gulf of Mexicos' residents, but I feed them just the same. The aforesaid inhabitants were just not biting later that day, most likely due to the approach of Hurricane Gustav. When we didn't continue to catch fish on the dock, we moved on, to some real ocean fishing. Due to some light seizures I had on the dock, I took a nap after a snack and I didn't participate in plucking dinner from the ocean. Oh, well. My dad and brother tried, but the fish just wouldn't co-operate. We ate lunch at a great, obscure, burger joint. Every fisherman, and woman in town knew about this place. We headed home after that, itching all the way, in between dozing spells, or at least I did. The warm sun and blue skies took care of that.

Swappin' Paint

Boy's Night Out

As it turns out, folks, us three boys had our first night on the town. We mentioned that we would like to see some movies i.e. The Dark Knight, and the latest Mummy installment. That was when mom kicked us out (figuratively, of course) We went by the local Fry's first, and gave my youngest brother time to look at a fan for his computer, while my middle brother and I looked at car stereos (ours conked out again.) Then it was on to the theatre. I had us buy both sets of tickets up front. The Dark Knight was terrific, but it needed watching again and again to get all the details- the halmark of a good movie. During the 45- minute break, we went out to eat at Jack In the Box. You know, up to then, I'd never been to a Jack restaurant ever! It is now among my favorites; just need them to go easy on the grey poupon. After a series of mis- adventures, we arrived for our second feature, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor just in time. Now this movie, being the third installment in the series, struck me as being a little wild, but it was fun. I remember looking down at the tv that night when we got home at the Olympic Games. There's a part where they phase out and go to scenery of China outside Beijing. For those of you who've seen the movie, they showed the Great Wall of China. Yep, been there.

As the Washer Turns

Turns out my mom got a new washer and drier yesterday. Now, that, folks, reminds me of a five- paragragh essay I wrote two years ago. It describes how my seizures relate to the actions of a washer going through the motions of cleaning clothes. It's funny, the timing. Last night, I also had a Grand Mal. The essay is entitled "As the Washer Turns"

As the Washer Turns

The brain is the body’s most important organ, seeing as it is the command center for the human form. A specific interruption in the brain is called a seizure, and having them changes your life. Imagine, if you will, a giant washing machine at rest and empty; this is an epileptic on medication that is controlling the seizures he is having. Now picture again, a full washing machine; this is the epileptic that will have a seizure in the near future, and is on medication that is not working for them the way the neurologists wanted. Witness with me what happens when that washing machine is loaded to the maximum, washed and spun; more than likely it’s going to spin off balance, making a terrible noise. This is the epileptic having a seizure. All of this commotion within the body throws the brain into shock and causes it to feel no pain----at least for a while.

Kind of throws you for a loop, eh? The reason I'm blogging about this is that the washer and dryer gave me a good excuse to mention it. Oh, yeah. That washer won't be giving us any trouble, and neither will that loud dryer which I love to hate. Those men that brought us the new machines, they took those away to the big scrap yard in the sky.

Vacation?

I've been sprung this day for six years. No, not from prison, and not from JD. It was from the children's hospital. Not that I didn't enjoy my time there, but I'll tell you something, the work load was horrendous. But, without it, I couldn't have used my whole right side again. OT, PT, and other T's I can't even remember were very strenuous on me in that condition, but I'll admit, it helped. The therapists and I worked 6 days a week, and thank goodness their were some leisure classes worked into my schedule, not to mention a mini-library, and computer so I could keep tabs on my favorite racing sites. My favorite books to peruse were comic books (Garfield), and my mom brought some regular reading books from home. In my leisure classes, we put together small crafts such as bead designs, and small stained- glass projects, and the like. Needless to say, I grew tired very fast. One of my favorite days was Sunday, where I could turn the race on the tv, and my dad would bring lunch in, usually bratwurst in a tortilla, and watch the race with me. He would relieve mom, who had been staying with me for the entire rest of the week. Also, on Sunday evenings, the music therapist would drop in with a keyboard and Beethoven cd's. You know the old saying that "music is medicine." I wound up making friends with the therapists (I'm a very friendly guy) and my eventual neighbor and his mother. Now this fellow patient had been in a horrible bus wreck. and had some kind of acid on his face plus a staightner on the top of his leg. His mom, my mom, and I had a lot of chats together. He had to be temporarily moved to another hospital for another procedure, but he came back. When I looked in on him later, after I'd been sprung, he'd changed rooms, and much later, I read an article in the paper on the guy at home playing video games. That's the last I've heard of him, but I hope to meet him some day, face to face. As my release date gote gote nearer, I managed to burn all nine of Beethoven's symphonies to my own CD-Rs, and then waited impatiently for my release orders as I helped my mom pack up. I was originally supposed to leave August 8th, but I proved to the doctors that I was well enough to leave on the 6th. And so that was how I was sprung.

Just Horsin' Around

Well, now I know what a day at the ranch felt like for those cowboys, because at the end of the day, every muscle in my body hurt. A guy in our Venture Crew runs a smithy/ rancher job at a camp not too far away from where we meet. We went up to this camp last Saturday, after my dad and another friend helped caravan the group up there. By the way, I identified 8 of 10 birds by their calls alone along the way. A personal best. Back to horses. It was a long hike to the barn, but the beauty of the place was worth it. Once we got to the corral gate, we met two curious horses who were used to people. There were about 15 in all. These two were not shy at all, and that goes for most of the herd as well. Once inside the barn, this fellow crewmate became our firm instuctor, as he was going to show us to clean a horse's hoof. They did not shoe them at this camp. There was a lot of danger involved in cleaning all four of the horse's hooves, and this guy was no exception to that rule. He had been kicked not once, but twice 15 fifteen over a stall wall, and he was a pretty big man! The horse he was going to "shoe" was about 15 1/2 hands high at the mane (I don't remember what a hand is equal to. Sorry.) He showed us, without incident, how to clean all four horses hooves, and how to trim them. I found myself fascinated as worked, at how the horses trusted him enough to "trim their nails" as it were. He gave us anatomy lessons, and several periods for asking questions as we went along our day. Next up, was how to saddle, mount, and ride his personal horse. I learned before kindergaten that you always mount from the left side. I guess that comes from watching too many cowboy movies. He mounted an rode out to the corral where he was training that horse. We found out there were four speeds to a horse, and that horse was learning the fourth, the gallop. Naturally, he let us pet the horse before he dismounted. He then showed us his expertise with whips. From coach whips to driving whips, he could handle them all, and well. He showed us the parts of a whip, and shared not a few stories of how he got started with them. To show us his expertise with a 35 ft. driving whip, he put a styrofoam cup of water on a trick barrel, and from 35 ft away, he broke that cup in half, leaving water inside. After that demonstration, we took the long walk back to the parking lot, of which on one end was a chuck wagon. The crewmate started to give us the history of the chuckwagon and methods by which the "cookie" helped or punished his men, since he was not only the cook, but the disciplinarian, the dentist, doctor, and close to anything else you could think of. Then we went over the parts of the wagon. The challenge course, which on the other side the parking lot was up next. We started out by thinking of someone who had influenced our live, and a word that describe that person. We had to balance ourselves on the l0g and get in anti-alphabetical order. needless to say, my insoles were screaming in pain, and I soon had to abandon the game. The next one, was the wall challenge, where you have to get all of your members over the wall. We suceeded, but it sapped my energy, and I felt like a Grand Mal seizure was going to happen any minute. This was during lunch, where we got a long break. After lunch, dad and I went out and sat in the rocking chairs on the back porch, just enjoying the quiet. All that happend was a 75- 100 yr old tree was cut down. And the guy doing the cutting didn't even yell "timber." Little did we know this was our service project we had been assigned. Anyway, after lunch, we got an eyeful of this tree, and believe you me, it was big and and tall! Our job was to clear away the branches so all that remained was the trunk. Well, this was no easy task, but with all of us working at it, it took less time then I figured. The brush trailer had to make two loads, each piled six feet high in branches and brush. We finally finished about 3 o'clock. The guy who was in charge of the very gratefull that we had come come to help him, and, none too soon. The sky was starting to turn that shade of blue that meant heavy rain was coming, was thunder was beginning to rumble. It took us a few minutes to leave, but when we did, I wish we didn't have to. It kinda' reminded of another camp...

1 Tripled and Three Years Ago

July. That's a special month for me, brain surgery-wise. It seems like a lifetime ago, and yet everything has happened in that six year period. If you've read any part of this blog, you can understand my frustration at my situation. But, you must understand, I didn't understand that when I decided to have that astroa cytoma brain tumor all those July's ago. I had been acting up with what my doctor called a sinus infection, at least that's what the symptymology was. When I came back to see him, and he took a look in my eyes, and couldn't see the back of the brain, he told my parents that they'd better get me to an ER quickly. That was July 10th. The beginning of what seems like a very, very long road to normality. Heavily dosed, (bombed) lying between consciousness and unconsciousness, I watched "Star Trek: First Contact" for first time. The only reason I bring that up is because, I'm scared silly of that movie. My first brain surgery happened the day after that. As the tumor was in the dead center of my brain, they ran a risk of paralyzing me. I didn't help much, I fear. I had my first Grand Mal seizure right there on the table rendering my right side completely useless. The surgeon kept apologizing to my parents that he didn't do better (he had removed 95% of the tumor; the other 5% was lodged around my memory) but my parents assurred him that he had done all he could do. There's a lot of funny anecdotes I tell about my week in the hospital recovering: I missed the inaugural Chicago race on tv, my fountain imitation, and finally, my last day, the insufferable suppository nurse. At least I got an ambulance ride out of it. I even got to pick the radio station. My last day was on the 19th then I was transfered to a children's hospital that specialized in restoration of the body- PT, OT, ST, among other things. I made quite an arrival. Barely had the medics left the room, then I had to start in with a Grand Mal seizure. Now, I'm quite used to them, but for a kid of 14, your first seizure that you remember having is more than scary. So, I spent three weeks Our Children's Hospital, and I even went home for a visit on my brother's BD. We went out to see Stuart Little 2. An upcoming event was a field trip to the circus. Not only am I huge Stars fan, I had never before been in the arena! We got to go down on the floor and meet some of the acts. OCH was supposed to release me on August 8th, but I begged to be released earlier. So there I was, a free man on August 6th
Now, about four July's later, I took the liberty of going all out on my "graduation" since it's the only one I'll have for a while. I had a 2nd and 3rd brain surgery, and my marbles weren't all there physically, and mentally. So after seven months of hard work, here I was, graduating. The Date: 7-7- o6
I don't what it is about July.

Blowing Off Steam

Weeeel, this is new. (sarcastic) I'm on a new level of the same anti-seizure medicine, and my seizures are getting worse. By the way, folks, I could see this one coming 5 miles away. It is plainly obvious that the anti- seizure meds I take (2 in the morning, 3 in the evening) not counting the individual pills I have to take, plus others. I need another solution. I pray that the VNS therapy will work, and I can get back to living a normal life (a.k.a. swimming, biking, and walking, all unattended, plus learning how to drive.) I try to make the best of my life in my home, but after a while, you just need to get out, and nobody is there to drive you. I'm just blowing off some frustration, but am taking it out in some creative methods. Lately I've discovered puzzles, rubicks cubes, I've been doing Sudoku puzzles since last year, and of course I'm a heavy reader. My favorites though, is photography, and ornathalogy. Speaking of phtography, a few days ago, on the 4th, I got pictures of fireworks. It seemed that they were right in our backyard. I never watch fireworks without my camera. I have dozens of other hobbies that keep me busy from night 'till noon, so I don't think about what I'm missing, and you know what, turns out that I'm living a pretty full life.

Nascar '08 2

Nascar '08

Discovery!

Weekend follows weekend, and I was able to do something on both. My latest escapade was to Natural Bridge Caverns in Texas. I've had a huge problem with caves and caverns for nine years. (The first cave was atop Enchanted Rk. at the State Park in Fredericksburg, Texas.) Anyway, I and my Venture Crew made the long trip there. We bought our tickets in time for the "Discovery" tour. All of the took 75 minutes. We almost didn't make it. We had to descend to the deepest part of the cavern on this tour, which was something such as 300 ft or so feet below the surface, but we saw some some interesting, yet delicate formations. Crawlways, stories, strange formations, broomsticks, a living fern 150 ft. below the surface, a battleship on the wall, even a pillar which reaches from floor to ceiling can all be found on that tour. We crossed the deepest part of the caves on a natural bridge. For us broad guys, we had to turn to the side for path across was narrow. I daresay it was a relief to reach the surface again. Anything is better than 70 degrees and 99% humidity. Yes, I took lots of shots, but I couldn't keep mopping my forehead, watch my footing, while taking pictures at the same time. We took a 75 minute break for lunch, and went back to it with a fesh tour guide. On this tour, (The "Illumination,") we had more crawlways, pigs' ears, cave bacon, an emerald stream, a handrail that had been subject to mineral decay for twenty years, and a total blackout where you couldn't even see your hand in front of your face, even if you tried! All this proves God is indeed the King of Creation and has power over earth and sky. All to often, we see earth as soil and rock only, but think of the mighty caverns that are at least 100 ft. high! Some have yet to be discovered as these were found in the '60s. Angels must have been guarding me on the descent and ascent on each tour, because the steps and ramps were uneven unlighted, and slippery, and in the condition I was in: unsteady at best, it could only be a God thing that got me out of there without injury. You know, I think I'm getting good at this weekend deal. (For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone) Ps 91:11-12

FINALLY!!!!!

I've accomplished two great things this week: Atended and staffed a 19 1/2 hour long home-school bookfair over two days, and I found out the reason for my seizures...finally! Actually, the two kinda' go hand in hand. The seizures are psychological, and I'll tell you how I deduced that. On Thursday, my brothers and I helped set up the booth my mom, dad, and I would be working, only that evening, my parents said I couldn't go due to my seizures. Good thing they said that, for my determination to prove my parents wrong was going to cost me some extra sleep. We had to be at the book fair no later than 7:30am Friday, so I got up at 5:15, and fully ready at 5:45. That happened Saturday too. Veni, vedi, venoseizure. Translation- I came, I saw, I didn't have a seizure. Sure, I had a lot of little wrist flips, but for 19+ hours, I didn't have a trace of anything that resembled a malicious flip- flop on the floor or the ilk except when I got dehydrated. Oh, and a bonus- I discovered that, while browsing in one of the bookstalls, a book that had my mother's maiden name on it. So I went back to our booth, and asked her about the topic at hand, and after affirming that she was a great-great grandaughter of said relative, I just had to tell the vendor and get the look in his face. I got more than that- I got the book on the house! As I've said, God hears all prayers, and the prayers He does answer come in more ways than we could imagine. I had a sneaky suspisicion that my seizures "were all in my head," but there was no way to prove it. Thanks be to God, He exposes dark things to light, and now, hopefully with the Vagus Nerve Stimulator, true excercise, determination, and my faith in Jesus Christ, I can finally move on with God's calling for me!

This Is Who I Am

Chores

You know the old saying: "Everything in moderation?" Apparently I need to observe that law more often when it comes to excercise- which is mainly chores. Exercise for a while, then rest. Repeat. I didn't always do this. I thought getting all my chores done at once. It just got me very tired, and a case of severe seizures. Don't rush when in this situation. Only you know what you feel like what you can do. If you can't do the job, ask for help! It's no shame to be taken out of the game when it comes to chores and such, and for that matter, anything. When you feel good, you tend to push so you can get as much out of your day. See fifth sentence for results. So take my advice: Excercise, then rest.

Freedom!

OK, I don't snore- badly. I recently had a sleep-study done on me, and I rather enjoyed it. Where else can you get your own queen- size bed, flat screen- tv, VCR- DVD combo, and bathroom? Oh, did I mention a good night's sleep away from the regular noise of home. Sure you're wired up worse than a Christmas tree, but I found a way around that, but look at the bright side, there were no needles! My techs were great conversationalists. We had a lot in common, including camping and fishing in several of the same state parks. It was 11:30PM before I turned in. (literally!) My mom was staying with me just in case I had some seizures, and couldn't advocate for myself. There was a mess of cords from mostly my head, and it took the techs about an hour to get me all hooked up. In bed, I had to undergo a communications test for them to watch me. All this is leading up to the fact that I have hypopneas. Hypopnea is a medical term for abnormally shallow breathing or slow respiratory rate. This differs from apneas in that there remains some flow of air. Translation: I don't breathe well at night. A second visit is definitely in the works to try a CPAP Machine to get me to breathe deeper. The end all result is that if I can sleep better, I'll have more energy, more energy helps with excercise, and I'll excercise all day. Hopefully, deeper sleep will evict some of the seizures that come from being tired, and I can finally regain some of my freedom!

Forgetting The Chain

It's nice to get away. You know, two hours out of seven days isn't that much to be asked, is it? I couldn't wait to go Monday evening, because that was when my Venture Crew was going to the movies. Now, I haven't been out with my contemporaries for nearly 2 1/2 years. Going on my own gave me some confidendence, and to forget the medical chain I have to wear around my neck. As the movie was in the late afternoon, and I couldn't get a ride, I called a friend of mine and asked if he could come me up. He said he would. When we got to the church, our meeting spot, we caravaned over to the theatre. We saw the documentary "Expelled" by Ben Stein. It has to do with Evolution being the accepted THEORY everywhere, and that there's no room for any other thought of how we got here. How professors and scientists for even mentioning "intelligent design" get fired. Anyway it was a great movie, and it had you look at specific people in a whole new light, then perhaps you saw them before. After the movie, it was off to the ice cream creamery. Now not being an officianoto of creameries, I thought I could just get a cone there, but no. I could not get one flavor, but had to have it blended. Oh, I guess the guy behind the counter didn't hear that I wanted it in a cone, and gave it me in a cup. Just for the better. Later, I found out that the cone cost more than the cup. I did manage to have a seizure, and that was in the opening of the movie, but the rest of the evening passed just fine. Did, I tell you I had to pay everyone in quarters. Imagine: over $11 in quarters for the ice cream, and the movie ticket. You know, 2 out of 168 hours is fine by me.

Imagination

Excuse me folks, I'm just trying to hide from sanity. We live in a rental two- story house 24/7/ 365. Usually, most people can't do that or they would have gone crazy, or lose it, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of one's faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, WACKO!!! But my family has survived because we've had to, and cuz' we've had powerful imaginations; well, at least I do. I like to make a game out of the mundane chores we do every week. I have my guitar, and do some mean stops. Also, I'm a great reader, and I've got more books just waiting to be read sitting on my bookshelf than you shake a duster at, plus more hobbies that get added to each day. Plus, we've even ended up in The Worlds' Medical City, so don't count me out when it comes to seizure repair. We've needed to concentrate on our homeschooling, and school has prospered, not just for me, but for my brothers. We would have gone mad a long time ago, if God hadn't given us imaginations to deal with the situations. I wouldn't have taken up golf and ocean fishing if he hadn't.

ZZZ's For Zippy

Oh, great, folks. Just when I needed something more in my life to make it miserable, this comes along. Lemme tell you the symptoms. In fact, I can reduce them to this: I CAN'T SLEEP! As a guy who likes his sleep, the fact that I can't get into REM sleep (The sleep where your body can make repairs in) bothers me to no end. (Espescially in my schoolwork) There are five levels to this REM scale, and I'm only scratching level one just for a few minutes at a time, sometimes on multiple occaisions a night. Oh, and here is the piece de recistance: I have been accused of snoring. I'm at the condition now of throwing my hands up, and praying for sleep, a thing I've never done before. Of course, the ramifacations of sleep deprovation affects directly affects the seizure situation in the brain, and as I have uncontrolled seizures, well let's just say that my chances of having a seizure increased from 40% to 80% When I look into a mirror, I have to keep reminding myself that those bags under my eyes aren't for my wallet and keys.

Try, Try, Try, Try, Try, Again

Finally! I'm done with the slideshows. (below) They show the greatest pictures I've ever taken, minus a few for they have people in them. This is a real shame, since some of my best work is involved in those shots, such as a baseball in mid-motion while being thrown etc. It's been a great hobby during my tenure at the brain and body shop, and don't think that's all of the work I've done. I've covered eight states, taken thousands of pictures, worn out two cameras to the point where they've both shut down on there own, working on a third, and burned 19 CD's full of photos. I guess you could say I'm kind of a professional in the field of digital photography, but the thing is, the more you learn, makes you realize how much more there is to learn. It's kind of like the field of epilepsy and I. Since I've learned that drug treatment and surgery don't work for me, VNS, is next, and I will see if it works. "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Thomas A. Edison

Best of Z's Pics 5

Best of Z's Pics 4

Best of Z's Pics 3

Best of Z's Pics 2

Best of Z's Pics

VNS Round 2

Yesterday, we went to my neurologist again, and besides getting told that there two seizure meds coming out later in the year, we're back to the VNS therapy again. The doctors say it is successful in 40% of the patients they've tried it on. So, my mom and the doctor are setting me up for the preliminaries to a VNS surgery. The thing is, they're not cheap. Try $10,000, and we have a insurance plan with holes big enough to put a shotgun shell to shame. Oh, well, God's got control of my life, and it's future. That's all I need ask.

She's Back!!!!

Alright everyone, hold on; Sara's been cured!!!. Apparently, she ate some rotten fruit in the backyard and got very sick very fast. The baby food did the trick, along with some much needed hydration, and she began to turn the corner last week. Thank God; His mercies are unending for those that believe in Him! She's back to her normal self this week, even trying to "shave" me with her tongue. She's even knocked over every trash can in the house! I had a triple Grand Mal day last week, and for the first, I wound up collapsing at my desk when I was through. By the time I made it to my room, everyone was in on the act. Now I don't know why Sara did this, dut when my parents tried to move me, she howled as if she was in pain. She came up and slept with me. My parents tried to lay me in the bed head first, but I was so weak, I nearly did a 360*. So, I just lay there. Turns out, I didn't remember to take my meds. Now, this isn't a deliberate misremberance, it's only that I could fool a lie detector with my answer. The memories are that strong. So, that's two lessons you've learned today: 1. Constant prayer and nutrition for a sick dog; and 2. Have your medicine box in front of you before you say that you've taken them. Something to think about.

E+ S= T

Yes, another algebra equation. Having been in said class for six years, and just now getting to the good stuff, makes me think through all the effort I spent over that time, and the fact that I've gotten this far. School is important, but not as much as knowing your limits. For example: Sometimes, I don't feel like doing important things, ie: bathing, eating, and on some days I must have a nap in the mid- morning so in the afternoon I can do a little school. Energy really comes into play. Do you know how much power consuption it takes to sit up? A lot! Take it from a person who has had his share of slumping action, and the charge it takes to have a seizure, albeit a small one, is tremendous to me. On top of that, you've got to manage the clock. Time is not gonna be your friend forever, and as a student I know that all to well. That means you've got to really prioritize your list of things to do for the day. If you 're like me, you know that you only have a certain amount of energy, and in my case, school. So, slow down, prioritize, and make the most of the time God gave you. Oh, and don't forget to solve the puzzle in the title. (Hint: The key is in the last five sentences.) :)

Surprse!

And now for some good news:
Sara's recovering nicely. She'll never be the same dog she was, but the good thing is that she's eating now. We've got her on baby food, and we have to feed her with a big syringe, but now she'll be with us a little longer to chase seizures away.
I'm finally in Biology, after all those years in Physical Science.
Oh, and I've been officially summoned for the first time. I'm quite excited about it.
On Friday, I was a whirling dirvish. I fininshed school in the early afternoon, and I proceeded to give my canoe a few coats of wax. My dad and I are planning to make her a little more stable for me to embark in, using outriggers. We intend to take it to the ocean and bait my families' 10- ft surf rods.

Liberty

As a sufferer of seizures, it goes without saying I have to be supervised when doing almost activity outside. When I reflect on the 2003 Golden Acorn Leadership Training, (BSA) where I was left among strangers for a week. Or, the guts it took for me to do the C.O.P.E. course among the members of my Venture Crew (BSA) in '04, it makes me want to cry aloud for those times. Whenever I think back on those thoughts, I can't help but think of running down a 300 yard hill at a 45 degree angle, on a mountain bike. Thanks be to God that I made it. I must have been pushing 40 m.p.h. That was in '05, the day before my second surgery. Now, I'ts all that I can do is just to get around during the day, do school, and maybe a few of my chores. I've got a canoe that needs to be waxed, but I rarely have the energy anymore to do these activities. God grant me the patience and forbearance to endure this scourge until I am liberated from it. "Proclaim liberty throughout the land to all its inhabitants."- Lev. 25:10 (Hey, that sounds familiar!)

Seizure Bearer

My beleagured pooch, Sara, is doing somewhat better. Now and then, she's showing some signs of class and begging from us. Usually, though, she's camped out on the chair, sofa, bed, or her bed. She comes up and down stairs daily, and gets her meds on a regular basis. It's in the evenings when I usually have the more severest of my seizures. Tuckered out trying to breathe as she is, Sara's not far away, still doing her job and warding away the rest.

Pure Breed

Sara. That's a name I'll never forget. It happens to be the name of my 3- year old Beagle. She was rescued from an animal shelter in Carrollton, Texas, and has lived with us through 3 moves, and 3 cities. She's white with black spots, brown eyes and brown head. She even licks me when I need to shave. But, the best part of all, is that this dog can sense when I'm having a seizure, and sticks by me through it. She likes to take naps with me, when I'm forced to stop my schoolwork for seizures- so that makes her my snugglebuddy. We're very close. Typical boy and dog. A few weeks ago, my family and I used our grill one night. The grill drew the local possum, and Sara was let out to do her business. The dog drove the possum off of the grill, but decided not to give chase. Eventually, though, dogs will be dogs, so she chased it into a low tree. That's when we think she had a mild heart attack. With 2 vet visits in the back window, we know that heart isn't producing enough red blood cells (Anemia), and she has Congenital Heart Disease. She barely has the strength to eat. The vet suggested a few things we could do to help her. We've decided to let her live out the rest of her days, comfortably. It's hard to see her like this, but one day, she'll in her Creator's hands. Don't forget that all dogs go to Heaven, too!

Pill-Bugs

As most of you know, I've been on a triad of anti-seizure meds, and have been so for most of my 5 1/2 year seizure career. Most folks have not tried the amount of epilepsy drugs I've taken, nor all the variations. I must have tried 7 or 8 anti- seizure meds, and combos of each up to three meds three times a day. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. We're not talking little amounts of pills, but but huge amounts of pills in said dosages. I'm tempted not to mention all the variable drug reactions I've had. They range from nausea to and unsteadiness to sleepiness and apathy. I currently take 12 anti- seizure meds a day, and that's not counting all the medicines I still need to take. Oh, did I mention thatI still get seizures that leak through like a sieve? My doctor reassures me that if my seizures haven't stopped by now, they never will. I live in Houston, for crying out loud! This is Medical City U.S.A., or so they tell me! This calls for patience, understanding, and the hand of God. This is quite a difficult task with my Scotch- Irish temper, but it's still a work in progress. Oh, the fortunate majority, who have their seizures under control. I almost forgot what it was like to be free from this "thorn."

I'm Speechless

There's gotta be something said about poor communication. No, I don't mean communication in general, just abut mine. For example: my brain is working at 110% copacity, and yet, the neurosurgeons haven't found a way to keep me from slowing down, enuciating, and things of that of nature. Think of it this way: My brain is a horizontal plane with thousands of ideas running across it. Now picture if you will, a little hole opens in that plane. That is my mouth. In my current condition, out of the thousands of thought and ideas that need be spoken and kept in order, I get, perhaps, 500, out of 1000 words out, and they have hardly anything to do with each other. But, I am stuck with myself, and a few good phrases of advice which I have already shared with you in previous blogs. Topping that, is the Lord God who knows me inside, outside, and through the window. I know that He has a crucial job for me, and I must be bold and fearless in acceppting it.
I am slow of speech and tongue."
The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

Energy Conservation

What I have to do to any overnight activity any more! It used to be so simple when I was in the Boy Scouts. But now it's like moving a boulder uphill in the Rockies, with a severe avalanche warning! I'm 300 mi. away from the life I knew, I've uncontrollable secondary seizures popping up everywhere that makes it hard for my parents to trust me, even to let me go on a walk, nevermind a one- day campout. Good thing I found a good Venture Crew in Sugar Land. That and school have made up 95% of my life down here. The overnight activity is with said Venture group, and it will be my first with this unit. When I think back on all 123 days of camping I did, I never thought I would run into this problem with the word, "energy." When I get tired and don't notice it, I push harder and faster, making more mistakes along the way. When you rest between activities, you find you have more energy at the end of the day.

The 14 Points of the Scout Law

Somedays, I wish I could change things, such as the Boy Scout Law. An Eagle myself, I live by those codes everyday- I was charged to do that. Despite the 12 promises of the Scout Law, the unspoken, "thirteenth" of my troop has always been "flexible." I've felt that recently, another one needs to be added. It has taken a backseat far too long- but that's what it's great at doing. You have to work at self-control in tandemn to master this code, with a healthy dose of prayer. It's what I've been doing for 5 1/2 years, waiting for what seems the impossible cure for these secondary seizures. You may fail, I failed. This isn't an easy apple to eat. Rushing headlong into something is an occurance I preform daily, not because I want to, but usually I have things so- so in my brain, and with my limited memory storage, I'm afraid it will be recycled. Have you figured it out yet? It's patience, and I see precious few using it. I said it wasn't an easy apple to eat, but consumable it is, and I hear it goes great with humble pie! But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

P= I + H

There's something that can be said for patience. We all hate it, deep down. That's our sin nature. But, as a Christian, I'm learning to prevail against all the things I can't do, because of my surgeries and seizures. I pray each day for strength to have patience to wait for my seizures to go away so I can drive, get a job, etc. I've also got a powerful enemy against despair: my imagination. I read books, I have more hobbies than you could count in a lifetime, including my favorite, ornithology. I talk to myself, and mimic the people I hear on tv (I'm actually very good at it). If I could be an animal, I would be a Mockingbird. See, there is a fun and wacky life outside the norm for those that wait for meds to work, or wounds to heal. I've even grown a full goatee, much to my brothers' chagrin. All you need to do is use your imagination and a sense of humor. I have uncontrolled seizures, so that means I am usually housebound except for the times I go on long walks, or there's outside work to be done. No matter what, patience, imagination, and a sense of humor will see you through.

Deer's Feet and Eagle's Wings

So, how have I made it through the 5 1/2 years of surgery, and seizures, anyhow, and not gone crazy? I'll answer in one word: Faith. Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ has sustained me now, today, and tomorrow. If you know the Lord, he can give you a peace that's beyond understanding, not to mention freedom from sin. If I have down days, he'll lift me up just like he said in the Bible book of Isaiah, He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights." I've grown so much in Christ these past 5 1/2 years than at anytime in my life. I guess it's because I've been through so much, but He's been right there holding my hand the entire time. Never has He left me. It would've been so easy for Him to have walked out when my surgeons had me on the table, but he didn't. He takes care of those who love Him, and causes the unsaved to wonder what's so different about their life. "But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Lazy S

What's in a name? I should be asking what's in a nickname, and what did the person do to earn said name? Well, my name was a little necesary, you see. It happened just after my first surgery. My head was all sewn back together with washable thread, but before that, they allowed my brothers in the room, unfortunately with a camera. They got me in the photo with the head stiches looking like what you might find on a baseball. My dad commented that my nickname should be "Zipperhead." The name's stuck, though I've sometimes shortened it to "Zippy." I even have my own ranch too... figuratively. The Lazy S on Exit 44 in Oklahoma going North on I-35 bears my symbol in white stones on the hillside. And what did I do to earn all this, you ask? Oh, I decided to have a little brain surgery.

Plates

The jokes I get to tell about having brain surgeries, you don't know the half of it. I'm naturally a sunny-side-up kind of guy with a great sense of humour. I actually compare my four titanium plates in my brain to anybody who has had a similar surgery, and due to the hardness of my skull now, I usually win. One of the many jokes is said that I can't learn anything because my head's too thick...now. And yet another example of this topic is when I go to the airport, I am going to send the airport screener sirens off with all the metal in my head. I guess I've known all along what my my reactions to all of these events would be: respond in humor, which is not hard for me.
"Yes I'm sure I have, but my brain's been messed with so much over the years, I don't remember." - Brig. Gen. Jack O' Neil "SG-1" 'S.10'

Deserving Valentine

My mother. What a great and wonderful woman. She's seen me through all the trials of the past five years, and come nigh the breaking point. I just wanted to point out on this Valentine's
Day, or what remains of it, how God has uses her services for being a mom above and beyond the usual tasks that mothers accommplish. She teaches school to a trio of boys ages 17, 18, and 20, she runs the family home, has health problems, seen more than her share of traumatic events including deaths, catastrophies, multiple brain surgeries, and financial strain. And yet, the Lord has been on her side in this battle we call life, and yet she just doesn't stop. She loves us that much! So, without further ado, I just want to nominate my mom for special recognition in the Lord's eyes, and in ours.
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love"

Sixth Sense

Somedays, I really wonder about the saying, 'dogs have a sixth sense.' Take my dog, Sara, for example. She's about the most precious beagle one could ever have, and almost like a little child in nature, despite being more than a bit spoiled. To get back on track, dogs have the five basic senses that we do: taste, touch, to feel, smell, and sight. But I believe that they have another, call it whatever you will, and it's found only in dogs. I've had a few huge seizures, and there's Sara. sitting right beside me. There was no food, or anything to attract her to me. I guess God has designed dogs espescially to be man's friend. I believe they call that addional sense the sixth, because I can't really figure it out. Is it devotion? Loyallty? Whatever that sense is, it's kept me from being alone while I recouperate from the after-effects of an epilepsy upheaval.

New Land

I 've alway enjoyed collecting good quotes, and one of the best from the tv series MASH. The Army surgery team set to welcome in a new surgeon, but the Boston blueblood surgeon doesn't like it. He's arrogant, but good. "I do one thing at a time; I do it very well; and then I move on." I know that's all I can do for now, being 300 miles from the life I knew, but I'm adjusting well, kind of like the Boston surgeon. I feel like everyone thinks a-mile-a-minute around here. and the best I can do is to survive the day, and to take account of my seizures. But, besides that, you get used to life just as any other human being would, and that's all you can ask God for- the strength to move on day after day in a new land.

Slow Down

"Slow down, your'e going to fast. You gotta make the moment last..." Oh, yes, we know those are the lyrics to one of Simon and Garfuncklel's songs. It's just tough applying this to everyday problems, let alone someone who has several serious traumatic brain injuries. A year and a half ago, my speech therapist was noticing that I would rush through things and leave them half-done, because I had forgotten the directions. That was, and still is secondary motto. Anyway, that's why I brought the lyric in at the beginning of the entry. I've tried to slow down, and think things through to the end, but still that's a work in progress.

Peace

When people see someone in a seizure, they automatically do one of two things: 1. Either they can help the best that they can, or 2. they can be scared and useless to the victim. For me, my seizures span the color chart, as it were. My family never knows what to expect out of me- seizure-wise. Once I fall victim to a seizure, below my ratings system of 4.5- 5+, I usually have a blackout period. This phenomenon is seen from the outside as my eyes rolling backwards, and my head slumping down on one of my shoulders. It' s quite peaceful really if you let your mind go, and don't try to hang on, (I can't really explain this, but you get the idea.) you will be a lot better rested and then in a position recover those thoughts that you lost. The blackout usually lasts (for me) anywhere from 10 seconds to 2 minutes. I usually don't like my family to move me when I'm in that condition, because my shoulders are usually hunched up at that time as well, and it is VERY painful to move during one of those seizures. Anywho, I've obviously survived them, and I'm convinced that despite my medical history, nothin's gonna kill me until the Lord deems my time is up.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Inferno

What's been my biggest seizure ever? It was in May of last year. I was helping my dad sand some home-made bookshelves when I started in with it. Usually I can control the big ones, namely, the Grand Mals. This one, I couldn't. I felt as if my mind had lost control. Imagine your brain now, and then imagine it running 200% faster. On a scale of 1 to 5, this is 4.5- 5. Now, imagine that your brain is running 1000% faster, on a scale of 5.5+. Picture if you will, me at work, when this came on. Usually I drop into half-conciousness when the big ones hit, but it didn't happen that day. Painfully reminded of my surroundings, and trying to regain control the seizure had already gone too far. That bone of contention spread up and down my entire right side, and I did some dance steps too. The things that makes this the worst seizure yet is that I was conscious, and that it lasted 3 minutes; a lifetime to a person undergoing one of these. I felt like Dante looking into the "Inferno," while being attacked by thousands of thoughts a second. Every little thought re-surfaces, especially in that seizure. It's as if your brain is on serious overload. I shiver whenever I think back on it. I'll tell you one thing, my family has been so supportive, with my care, and my health requirements. This whole seizure career has taught me that family is first under God, and that's the way it's gonna stay for this young man.
Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Friends

When one has therapy, physical, or mental, it is usually short and sweet. Consider having therapy for a combined totall of 7 months and 3 weeks. Sounds rough don't it? Well, I took the first three weeks after my first brain surgery as I've written in the previous blog. The last 7 months were after the third brain surgery some three years later. I didn't know what I was getting into when I entered the room for sign-up, but little more than a year later, I know that hospital backwards, forwards, and through the window. I had multiple instructors; most I got along with, some took a little coaxing to come out of their shells. I didn't have to stay in OT, long. That's short for occupational therapy. The physical terristry took longer; 6 or 7 weeks at the most. The part I enjoyed the most was the open group sessions. Now, I, was in a group with an average age of 63 or so, and loved every minute of it with a group therapist. The speech therapist and I hit it off really well together. For example, she plays the guitar as I now do. There were two ST's, and rarely did I see the second one, but she was with me after the great tackle. There was one physasachiatrist intern, and two doctors. Now I leave my nemesis 'till the last. She was from New Guinea, and I didn't call her "fridgid" for nothing. She softened her temperment towards the end of my stay, and was over the Cognitive Therapy department. I guess we learned a lot from each other, and she turned out to be a friend in the end. I was employed in the hospital in the early summer to middle of fall when the great tackle was made. My responsibilities included working in the PT Gym and doing assorted things the staff needed in there. Next, I cleaned all 12 waiting rooms in the hospital, and when I was done with that, I could go up to the 5th floor to help feed the elderly. The nurses got to know me real well when I came by to fill the candy jar on our therapy cart which had all sorts of goodies on it. I really appreciate the nurses looking the other way while I help feed patients, for I wasn't supposed to. I couldn't help myself. I'd do all sorts of activities on the 5th floor in group session with the seinors. Everything from ballon tossing to weight lifting. I made more than a few good friends at the hospital, and remember, "You can measure a man by the friends he's made."

Memories

It's been a rough 5 1/2 years, since my initial brain surgery, but there have been a few bright spots along the way. Take for instance the three weeks after my initial brain surgery that I spent recouperating at a hospital for children. I shared my room with a bunky that had been injured severely in a bus crash. That crash had made the news, and my roommate was in bad shape. He had to have multiple surgeries to fix different parts of the body that you and I take for granted. He was just 14. I pittied his mom. She was just distraught over her son, so much so, that she bought me a gallon of chocolate milk. Visitors were very welcome, especially on Sunday, as there was nothing planned for that day. My Scoutmaster, now deceased, brought me some implements of the latest troop activity, (Frisbee golf discs) and a lot 0f hockey things, including a player's stick. Also, a scout brought me a humongous cookie, almost a foot in diameter, and a Garfield comic book. We had one field trip. It was to the circus, and it was being held at the American Airlines Center. Before it started, we were allowed to go out on the floor and meet the preformers. I was intrigued by the clown, who was ballancing a large plastic ball with ball with one finger. He transfered the ball to my finger, and it actually spun! It must have been rigged. The circus was terrific, and I brought souvineers back for my roommate who wasn't able to make the trip. I didn't want him to completely miss the action. By the end of the 3- week stint in the hospital, I was well enough to want to race wheelchairs in the hallways. That's when they kicked me out. Actually, I was itching to get out. I 'll never forget the date; August 6th 2002.

Bad Medicine

Being on three seizure drugs at the same time is lousy. All the caffeine in the world is not going to do you any good if you accidently miss one of them. Not only do you keep odd hours, but the sleep you are unaware of is limited, maybe four or five hours, perhaps. This is what brings on the seizures for me, plus a thousand other related things. Also, the epilepsy drugs have a list of side effects. I've nearly tried them all, and they haven't worked, so this makes me an expert in doing absolutely nothing about my seizures. Did I mention the constant feelings of weakness? When you've been on a medley of drugs year in and year out, it does something to you. It makes you tire easily, and do things one step at a time, instead of many. I guess it is a good thing that I'm reminded of my weakness. Paul wrote in his Second Letter to the Corinthians that when he asked Jesus to remove his thorn, He replied, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Just keep that in mind the next time you want to complain about not getting there fast enough and before you know it, the job's done.

Signs

You know, there's nothing like a good build up to the first brain surgery. The first few weeks start out with headaches you can't knock out with a horse pill, seconded by light sensitivity that would make a blind man cry out for light, and then, near the end, yammying up your lunch. Of course the fact that your mom comes to you, the night before you go to the hospital, and said that she'd researched my symptoms, and most likely had a brain tumor. And the rest, from here, is as they say, history. Of course, the first surgery is the worst one you've got to worry about; the other ones follow soon after in the same fashion.

The Greatest Tackle I'll Ever Make

It was almost like yesterday, except it was 300 miles North and a year and a half ago. I was volunteering for this hospital where I was receiving therepy after my third surgery. I had gotten on great with the staff of the hospital, and was even down to a first name basis with some of them. I was there on an out- patient basis for almost eight months, but stayed on as a volunteer almost three extra months. Anyway, it was in these final months that I had one of my Goliath seizures. I was cramming some papers into an already full paper bin. The bin was heavy- duty plastic, and was at least 5'x 4'x 4'. I had already been feeling rather poorly that morning, but not what I was going to feel like in the near future. My seizure came on like ones that had come before, right shoulder jerking up, my teeth gnashing together. I lost control of my right leg, and half contiousness. It is in my nature to grab on to something and hold on to it for dear life when I'm like that. Apparently, that was the paper recycling bin. I just remember me on top of that bin, and the seizure was over. The people in the next room timed it at a minute and then some. Anyway, the paramedics were called, I took a short ride in an ambulance, my family was called, and the wound on my wrist healed. I stopped my job the next day, but how many days is it when a recycle tub gets knocked over? In my case, you don't want to know.

Strange, but True!

Funny thing about brain surgeries, things don't go as expected. For example, I've had three, and none of the above have gone as planned. Take the third one. I remember laying in the Pre-Op room joking with my family. I was hooked up to an IV that was administering the anastesia, and I had just asked the surgeon to take pictures of the OR with his camara phone. Wait 'till he hears I deleated them by mistake! Anyhow, that's what I remember before surgery, but afterwards, just half an hour after I woke up, I was ready for a three course dinner. Of course, they don't serve that in the ICU, and my old room was being prepared for me in the Hotel Presby Hospital. I love the staff there in that wing. Earlier, with one of the staff, I ordered some pudding over the phone, and I pretended I was dying! The male nurse couldn't believe I had pulled that off, but naturally, yours trully, the Scrounger, did. I was becoming a real pro at brain surgery, as you might imagine. You could almost say it"s a hobby of mine.

Run the Gammit

When I went to see the epileptologist today, I was semi-prepared with questions and comments, but not for the resulting options. They were: 1. More brain surgeries (if they could be done safely), 2. More up and down again with the anti-epileptic drugs (I've been on nearly all, and every variant of said same in my illustrious career. And last but not least, we have the option of the Vagus Nerve Stimulator, an option worth taking a closer look at, seeing that the medicines haven't worked consistantly for 4 1/2 years. We were looking at it a few years ago, but my seizures were more controlled then. It's High Noon in my body, and I want those secondary seizures out by sundown, preferably via VNS.

Things I've Learned That I Can and Cannot Do

Most kids start learning how to drive at 15, and get their permit /licensce at 16- 18. At least I am told so. I've had to take the back seat to my younger brothers, learning to drive, plus do some other things that are a little dangerous for me right now. I am 20, and while I have been out for some brief driving lessons with my mom a few years ago, I still have to remember what the Bible says "All things are possible for me, yet all things are not possible for me to do." I'll never forget my first driving lesson, it was at a golf course. Seriously, I was 15, and it was the spring after my initial brain surgery. I was on a rappelling campout with my Boy Scout troop from Carrollton, in North Texas. It was the last day, Sunday, and on a whim, my dad let me drive. We also had a special passenger in the car, the Assistant Scoutmaster of the troop. He sat right behind my dad, and I sat in front of my little brother. Now, the camp was someways back in the woods, about three miles. Well, I drove the three miles without a hitch, but when my dad asked me to park in the lot, I did things a little backward, quite unintentionally. First, I punched down the accelerator to 30 mph, and ran into a rock at the back of the parking space. Three things happened: I had my first seizure at the wheel, I tore a hole in the radiator, and I pushed a 27 ft cubed rock backwards 6 inches. It is still there today. Well, we all made it home all right, though some of us not in the same vehicle. Oh, yes, and if you think I needed a motor to push that rock around, just wait and see what I can do with a full, industrial, paper recycler bin mono e' mono.

The Good Times

This evening reminded me a little of what it was like to be 14 again, and no tumor, and especially no seizures. I thought I would always hate Mondays, (Garfield) but a few of them I have good memories of. Anywho, I was out with my Venture Crew, and we visited a hobby shop and had some ice-cream. It felt good to be own person for a set amount of time. Now to those that think I should always talk shop about seizures, I don't think so. With my relative history, goes all the fun things I 've done as a result of it. Except for the weeks of radiation I underwent, I will always remember that final day as being fun. I can recall the time of my last radiation treatment: 05:05:66 after all these years. It was a sight to behold! Me, walking out of that treatment room for the last time wearing my mask and solemnly waving a flag I had made up at home. On one side, it said "Fnished," and on the other side, I drew a checkered flag. It was pretty close to Thanksgiving then, so I offered to fry the turkey on my knoggin.'

Getting My Excercise

Well, it wasn't a day for the books yesterday. I had two grand mals, and I was only resting from whatever it was that was making me so tired. (Probably the three anti-seizure meds that I'm on...) When I have a grand mal, this has been the case: My right side always is somewhat subdued. I guess it has to do with the initial brain surgery when I was on the table all those years ago, I suffered total right side paralysis. From my my head to to my to toes. The surgeon didn't know what was the matter. The tumor was 95% removed. It is called an astro- cytoma. In my case the tumor was benign, or not dangerous. The other five percent could not removed, because it had attached itself to my memory. I have had close to 500 seizures, and that's being VERY generous. They have come in all shapes, and sizes, depending on the drugs I am currently taking. I have also worn out three epileptologists with my detailed and brilliant career.

1st Post

I can't believe I'm doing this! This is the first time the whole online community will hear about my case, and after 5 1/2 years, 3 brain surgeries, and close to 500 seizures, I am still a loaded pistol.