The 14 Points of the Scout Law

Somedays, I wish I could change things, such as the Boy Scout Law. An Eagle myself, I live by those codes everyday- I was charged to do that. Despite the 12 promises of the Scout Law, the unspoken, "thirteenth" of my troop has always been "flexible." I've felt that recently, another one needs to be added. It has taken a backseat far too long- but that's what it's great at doing. You have to work at self-control in tandemn to master this code, with a healthy dose of prayer. It's what I've been doing for 5 1/2 years, waiting for what seems the impossible cure for these secondary seizures. You may fail, I failed. This isn't an easy apple to eat. Rushing headlong into something is an occurance I preform daily, not because I want to, but usually I have things so- so in my brain, and with my limited memory storage, I'm afraid it will be recycled. Have you figured it out yet? It's patience, and I see precious few using it. I said it wasn't an easy apple to eat, but consumable it is, and I hear it goes great with humble pie! But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

P= I + H

There's something that can be said for patience. We all hate it, deep down. That's our sin nature. But, as a Christian, I'm learning to prevail against all the things I can't do, because of my surgeries and seizures. I pray each day for strength to have patience to wait for my seizures to go away so I can drive, get a job, etc. I've also got a powerful enemy against despair: my imagination. I read books, I have more hobbies than you could count in a lifetime, including my favorite, ornithology. I talk to myself, and mimic the people I hear on tv (I'm actually very good at it). If I could be an animal, I would be a Mockingbird. See, there is a fun and wacky life outside the norm for those that wait for meds to work, or wounds to heal. I've even grown a full goatee, much to my brothers' chagrin. All you need to do is use your imagination and a sense of humor. I have uncontrolled seizures, so that means I am usually housebound except for the times I go on long walks, or there's outside work to be done. No matter what, patience, imagination, and a sense of humor will see you through.

Deer's Feet and Eagle's Wings

So, how have I made it through the 5 1/2 years of surgery, and seizures, anyhow, and not gone crazy? I'll answer in one word: Faith. Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ has sustained me now, today, and tomorrow. If you know the Lord, he can give you a peace that's beyond understanding, not to mention freedom from sin. If I have down days, he'll lift me up just like he said in the Bible book of Isaiah, He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights." I've grown so much in Christ these past 5 1/2 years than at anytime in my life. I guess it's because I've been through so much, but He's been right there holding my hand the entire time. Never has He left me. It would've been so easy for Him to have walked out when my surgeons had me on the table, but he didn't. He takes care of those who love Him, and causes the unsaved to wonder what's so different about their life. "But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Lazy S

What's in a name? I should be asking what's in a nickname, and what did the person do to earn said name? Well, my name was a little necesary, you see. It happened just after my first surgery. My head was all sewn back together with washable thread, but before that, they allowed my brothers in the room, unfortunately with a camera. They got me in the photo with the head stiches looking like what you might find on a baseball. My dad commented that my nickname should be "Zipperhead." The name's stuck, though I've sometimes shortened it to "Zippy." I even have my own ranch too... figuratively. The Lazy S on Exit 44 in Oklahoma going North on I-35 bears my symbol in white stones on the hillside. And what did I do to earn all this, you ask? Oh, I decided to have a little brain surgery.

Plates

The jokes I get to tell about having brain surgeries, you don't know the half of it. I'm naturally a sunny-side-up kind of guy with a great sense of humour. I actually compare my four titanium plates in my brain to anybody who has had a similar surgery, and due to the hardness of my skull now, I usually win. One of the many jokes is said that I can't learn anything because my head's too thick...now. And yet another example of this topic is when I go to the airport, I am going to send the airport screener sirens off with all the metal in my head. I guess I've known all along what my my reactions to all of these events would be: respond in humor, which is not hard for me.
"Yes I'm sure I have, but my brain's been messed with so much over the years, I don't remember." - Brig. Gen. Jack O' Neil "SG-1" 'S.10'

Deserving Valentine

My mother. What a great and wonderful woman. She's seen me through all the trials of the past five years, and come nigh the breaking point. I just wanted to point out on this Valentine's
Day, or what remains of it, how God has uses her services for being a mom above and beyond the usual tasks that mothers accommplish. She teaches school to a trio of boys ages 17, 18, and 20, she runs the family home, has health problems, seen more than her share of traumatic events including deaths, catastrophies, multiple brain surgeries, and financial strain. And yet, the Lord has been on her side in this battle we call life, and yet she just doesn't stop. She loves us that much! So, without further ado, I just want to nominate my mom for special recognition in the Lord's eyes, and in ours.
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love"

Sixth Sense

Somedays, I really wonder about the saying, 'dogs have a sixth sense.' Take my dog, Sara, for example. She's about the most precious beagle one could ever have, and almost like a little child in nature, despite being more than a bit spoiled. To get back on track, dogs have the five basic senses that we do: taste, touch, to feel, smell, and sight. But I believe that they have another, call it whatever you will, and it's found only in dogs. I've had a few huge seizures, and there's Sara. sitting right beside me. There was no food, or anything to attract her to me. I guess God has designed dogs espescially to be man's friend. I believe they call that addional sense the sixth, because I can't really figure it out. Is it devotion? Loyallty? Whatever that sense is, it's kept me from being alone while I recouperate from the after-effects of an epilepsy upheaval.

New Land

I 've alway enjoyed collecting good quotes, and one of the best from the tv series MASH. The Army surgery team set to welcome in a new surgeon, but the Boston blueblood surgeon doesn't like it. He's arrogant, but good. "I do one thing at a time; I do it very well; and then I move on." I know that's all I can do for now, being 300 miles from the life I knew, but I'm adjusting well, kind of like the Boston surgeon. I feel like everyone thinks a-mile-a-minute around here. and the best I can do is to survive the day, and to take account of my seizures. But, besides that, you get used to life just as any other human being would, and that's all you can ask God for- the strength to move on day after day in a new land.

Slow Down

"Slow down, your'e going to fast. You gotta make the moment last..." Oh, yes, we know those are the lyrics to one of Simon and Garfuncklel's songs. It's just tough applying this to everyday problems, let alone someone who has several serious traumatic brain injuries. A year and a half ago, my speech therapist was noticing that I would rush through things and leave them half-done, because I had forgotten the directions. That was, and still is secondary motto. Anyway, that's why I brought the lyric in at the beginning of the entry. I've tried to slow down, and think things through to the end, but still that's a work in progress.

Peace

When people see someone in a seizure, they automatically do one of two things: 1. Either they can help the best that they can, or 2. they can be scared and useless to the victim. For me, my seizures span the color chart, as it were. My family never knows what to expect out of me- seizure-wise. Once I fall victim to a seizure, below my ratings system of 4.5- 5+, I usually have a blackout period. This phenomenon is seen from the outside as my eyes rolling backwards, and my head slumping down on one of my shoulders. It' s quite peaceful really if you let your mind go, and don't try to hang on, (I can't really explain this, but you get the idea.) you will be a lot better rested and then in a position recover those thoughts that you lost. The blackout usually lasts (for me) anywhere from 10 seconds to 2 minutes. I usually don't like my family to move me when I'm in that condition, because my shoulders are usually hunched up at that time as well, and it is VERY painful to move during one of those seizures. Anywho, I've obviously survived them, and I'm convinced that despite my medical history, nothin's gonna kill me until the Lord deems my time is up.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Inferno

What's been my biggest seizure ever? It was in May of last year. I was helping my dad sand some home-made bookshelves when I started in with it. Usually I can control the big ones, namely, the Grand Mals. This one, I couldn't. I felt as if my mind had lost control. Imagine your brain now, and then imagine it running 200% faster. On a scale of 1 to 5, this is 4.5- 5. Now, imagine that your brain is running 1000% faster, on a scale of 5.5+. Picture if you will, me at work, when this came on. Usually I drop into half-conciousness when the big ones hit, but it didn't happen that day. Painfully reminded of my surroundings, and trying to regain control the seizure had already gone too far. That bone of contention spread up and down my entire right side, and I did some dance steps too. The things that makes this the worst seizure yet is that I was conscious, and that it lasted 3 minutes; a lifetime to a person undergoing one of these. I felt like Dante looking into the "Inferno," while being attacked by thousands of thoughts a second. Every little thought re-surfaces, especially in that seizure. It's as if your brain is on serious overload. I shiver whenever I think back on it. I'll tell you one thing, my family has been so supportive, with my care, and my health requirements. This whole seizure career has taught me that family is first under God, and that's the way it's gonna stay for this young man.
Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."