Chasing Ambulances

When I checked out of the Hotel Children's Hosital, I wanted to go to the re-hab place in style, via the ambulance. Yes, it was seven years ago today, but as it was the crux of my complete visit of both hospitals, I wanted to do it right. Waell let's see, if I can remember correctly. My memories were a bit sharper then than they are now, if you subtract the 6320 +/- seizures I've had since then. On my last day in the hospital, the 19th, I woke up (or went to sleep, since the medicine they gave kept me up nights) had a quick run through my food. My right side was still paralized completely so they had quite a time turning me on my stomach, and shoving a suppository home- "The bullet of health." So I had a rotten morning, but it was about to get worse. I was going to be transfered to a children's hospital on the other side of town You know, a boy in my condition who could literally read the stiches on his own head could be given more of a break, but no. Ol' K139 (The room) was soon rid of me, ready for the next patient as soon as mom gave me a bath (Modesty, flying out the window) after I struggle over the steep side. By this time, I was barely dressed, and laying on a table, my belongings all gathered up when who walks in but two paramedics. They have my parents sign a few things, then disappear down the hallway. They return about 10 minutes later, and transfer me from my table to the stretcher. Anyone with 1/2 a brain tied behind their backs could have seen that I was too big for their stretcher, but apparently, one stretcher fit all that day. Once in the back of the vehicle, I was secured in place, and my mom sat at my side. When we were underway one of the drivers asked which radio station I'd like to hear. I replied. '101.1 FM.' He said, more or less, 'That's a good choice. We've had all sorts of kids come through here asking for the same station, and it's drivin' me batty.' After a 30-45 miute drive, we arrived at OCH (Our Children's House)a special re-hab place for children. They deliver me, and there I was to stay for three weeks, until August 6th, but that's another story. What one has to do to ride in an ambulance these days!

Owell's Funny Farm

Well, there I was, just coming to after the completion of my third brain surgery. As soon as I got my bearings, I became more and more conscious (it gets easier with every surgery. I just had a previous brain surgery a week earlier.) and realized that there was quite a bit of pain coming from somewhere south of the border. They had slipped a capheter in after they had drugged me. Sly dogs. They got me when I wasn't conscious or I would've given them a quite a fight over it. That's something that doesn't get any easier with expierience. I asked my mom to request it be removed. YOU do not ever want to have that happen to you. As you would expect, the hospital didn't play ball on that issue, plus when I got hungry, about an hour later, I ordered a full three-course meal; They show up with jello and water! That is just a travesty of justice!!! Good thing I had friends in the Neurology Department whom I went to see regularly when the neurologist ordered a EEG monitoring (quite frequently) The head nurse was just one laugh after another, they specialized in humor. Well, after my stint was done in the recovery room, that's where they moved me, right back to the funny farm. Later, of course, I turned the tables on one of the staff (who had the same name I do) by ordering chocolate pudding over the phone in a dying voice. The orderly (from the Philipines) couldn't believe I had done that, and exploded in laughter. To sum it up, the hospital recovery room service is ok, the food is average, but the memories are priceless.