By the Numbers

I screwed up... again. Well, let me start at the beginning. The day before, I had leant over to pick up some wrappers that had fallen out of my trashcan. Well, I apparently I used my knees too much because next thing I hear on my down, was a slight crack in left knee cap. It was "A new experience in pain,"* as it 'twere. I think approaching the top five in my life! Yep, you could say it hurt a little. It landed me in my recliner with a frozen bag of peas on my knee. That was three days ago. Fast forward to the yesterday morning. As I washing my face in the guest restroom, somehow I took out 1/2 the toilet paper hanger, and on my out, I broke the toilet... again! It seemed that I was 'Wreck It Ben,'^ ...literally! Somehow, I landed on the floor, drawers down for the world to see, and then my mom tries to pull me up. Me. A literal "One-eyed fat man."** Gotta love those moms. They'll attempt the impossible for their kids. My little brother was there, and he tried but failed. My knee didn't help any. In fact, it was all I could do to stop from screaming. So they decided, against my will mind you, to call 911. Who knew they had a non-emergency line? So no sirens, but that big, red, truck outside with a diesel engine, and your home draws the neighbors, just gets, oh I'd say, a tad embarrassing if there's no fire to put out. Ah well, such is the life of superstars and stroke patients although more patience is needed for the latter. * M*A*S*H - S.1/ Ep.22 ^ Wreck It Ralph ** True Grit (1969)