Plates

The jokes I get to tell about having brain surgeries, you don't know the half of it. I'm naturally a sunny-side-up kind of guy with a great sense of humour. I actually compare my four titanium plates in my brain to anybody who has had a similar surgery, and due to the hardness of my skull now, I usually win. One of the many jokes is said that I can't learn anything because my head's too thick...now. And yet another example of this topic is when I go to the airport, I am going to send the airport screener sirens off with all the metal in my head. I guess I've known all along what my my reactions to all of these events would be: respond in humor, which is not hard for me.
"Yes I'm sure I have, but my brain's been messed with so much over the years, I don't remember." - Brig. Gen. Jack O' Neil "SG-1" 'S.10'

Deserving Valentine

My mother. What a great and wonderful woman. She's seen me through all the trials of the past five years, and come nigh the breaking point. I just wanted to point out on this Valentine's
Day, or what remains of it, how God has uses her services for being a mom above and beyond the usual tasks that mothers accommplish. She teaches school to a trio of boys ages 17, 18, and 20, she runs the family home, has health problems, seen more than her share of traumatic events including deaths, catastrophies, multiple brain surgeries, and financial strain. And yet, the Lord has been on her side in this battle we call life, and yet she just doesn't stop. She loves us that much! So, without further ado, I just want to nominate my mom for special recognition in the Lord's eyes, and in ours.
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love"

Sixth Sense

Somedays, I really wonder about the saying, 'dogs have a sixth sense.' Take my dog, Sara, for example. She's about the most precious beagle one could ever have, and almost like a little child in nature, despite being more than a bit spoiled. To get back on track, dogs have the five basic senses that we do: taste, touch, to feel, smell, and sight. But I believe that they have another, call it whatever you will, and it's found only in dogs. I've had a few huge seizures, and there's Sara. sitting right beside me. There was no food, or anything to attract her to me. I guess God has designed dogs espescially to be man's friend. I believe they call that addional sense the sixth, because I can't really figure it out. Is it devotion? Loyallty? Whatever that sense is, it's kept me from being alone while I recouperate from the after-effects of an epilepsy upheaval.

New Land

I 've alway enjoyed collecting good quotes, and one of the best from the tv series MASH. The Army surgery team set to welcome in a new surgeon, but the Boston blueblood surgeon doesn't like it. He's arrogant, but good. "I do one thing at a time; I do it very well; and then I move on." I know that's all I can do for now, being 300 miles from the life I knew, but I'm adjusting well, kind of like the Boston surgeon. I feel like everyone thinks a-mile-a-minute around here. and the best I can do is to survive the day, and to take account of my seizures. But, besides that, you get used to life just as any other human being would, and that's all you can ask God for- the strength to move on day after day in a new land.

Slow Down

"Slow down, your'e going to fast. You gotta make the moment last..." Oh, yes, we know those are the lyrics to one of Simon and Garfuncklel's songs. It's just tough applying this to everyday problems, let alone someone who has several serious traumatic brain injuries. A year and a half ago, my speech therapist was noticing that I would rush through things and leave them half-done, because I had forgotten the directions. That was, and still is secondary motto. Anyway, that's why I brought the lyric in at the beginning of the entry. I've tried to slow down, and think things through to the end, but still that's a work in progress.

Peace

When people see someone in a seizure, they automatically do one of two things: 1. Either they can help the best that they can, or 2. they can be scared and useless to the victim. For me, my seizures span the color chart, as it were. My family never knows what to expect out of me- seizure-wise. Once I fall victim to a seizure, below my ratings system of 4.5- 5+, I usually have a blackout period. This phenomenon is seen from the outside as my eyes rolling backwards, and my head slumping down on one of my shoulders. It' s quite peaceful really if you let your mind go, and don't try to hang on, (I can't really explain this, but you get the idea.) you will be a lot better rested and then in a position recover those thoughts that you lost. The blackout usually lasts (for me) anywhere from 10 seconds to 2 minutes. I usually don't like my family to move me when I'm in that condition, because my shoulders are usually hunched up at that time as well, and it is VERY painful to move during one of those seizures. Anywho, I've obviously survived them, and I'm convinced that despite my medical history, nothin's gonna kill me until the Lord deems my time is up.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Inferno

What's been my biggest seizure ever? It was in May of last year. I was helping my dad sand some home-made bookshelves when I started in with it. Usually I can control the big ones, namely, the Grand Mals. This one, I couldn't. I felt as if my mind had lost control. Imagine your brain now, and then imagine it running 200% faster. On a scale of 1 to 5, this is 4.5- 5. Now, imagine that your brain is running 1000% faster, on a scale of 5.5+. Picture if you will, me at work, when this came on. Usually I drop into half-conciousness when the big ones hit, but it didn't happen that day. Painfully reminded of my surroundings, and trying to regain control the seizure had already gone too far. That bone of contention spread up and down my entire right side, and I did some dance steps too. The things that makes this the worst seizure yet is that I was conscious, and that it lasted 3 minutes; a lifetime to a person undergoing one of these. I felt like Dante looking into the "Inferno," while being attacked by thousands of thoughts a second. Every little thought re-surfaces, especially in that seizure. It's as if your brain is on serious overload. I shiver whenever I think back on it. I'll tell you one thing, my family has been so supportive, with my care, and my health requirements. This whole seizure career has taught me that family is first under God, and that's the way it's gonna stay for this young man.
Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."